2016: The Year of Playing Catch-Up

The year 2016 has been unpredictable with a great many happenings in my life. While the world as a whole had a questionable year that revealed further instances of hate, intolerance, and ignorance, my year has been positive.

I lived in three different places this year. There was an apartment, a rented house, and now a house I can call my own. I proposed to my girlfriend. We set a date. I started a new job back in August. I remind myself that I was a late bloomer in terms of life progressions. 2016 has been my year of playing catch-up.

In spite of the usual bullshit going on in the world, I'm happy about my own life. I don't know what 2017 will hold for me. All I know for certain is the wedding in October. Otherwise, I'm sort of in the dark. I don't mind because I'm with my wife-to-be, we're building a life together, and my career is reaching new heights.

I've started working on the next novel. As mentioned before, it will center on my literary alter ego, Kai. The novel will reflect my current state of mind and position in life. Although the writing doesn't completely mirror my own life, both share plenty of commonalities.

To put it simply, life is good. I'm staying positive. There are enough rights in the world that make up for the wrongs. I live by a simply rule: just be nice to people. Don't let personal differences cause contention. We're all human. We bleed, we sweat, we cry, and we die.

Until next time, walk on.

The Glory Days and the Promises of Tomorrow

In preparation for my next novel, I looked back on my experiences as a younger man. Many of these instances have been recorded previously. Fortunately, there's still plenty left to explore in future work. I remember my glory days, not so much as periods of enjoyment, but life lessons full of struggle and the feeling of helplessness. I was challenged daily. I was full of piss and vinegar. I wanted more and felt like it would take forever to reach peaks. Indeed, it took years.  The writing, my career, and my progressions in life still make me feel like I was a late bloomer.

Almost nothing has ever come easy to me. I've had to work and be patient. It's only within the past couple of years that I feel I have a greater sense of control. Even when things don't work out exactly as I want them to, they have the tendency to fall into place one way or another. Maybe it's luck. More than likely, it's because I'm seasoned and have a better grasp on how to accomplish my personal and professional goals.

Much has happened for me in 2016. I proposed to my girlfriend, we're getting married next year, I started a new job months ago, and we're going through the process of closing on a house. Marriage, a career change, and first time home ownership: that's something.

In the midst of all of these major life progressions, I'm compelled to write another novel now more than ever. It will reflect these ideas of changing: of settling down into a new stage in life. As I've mentioned in previous posts, my literary alter ego grows as I do.

While I don't face as many personal struggles as I used to, I still have long term challenges that involve heading towards unfamiliar territory. Soon enough, my future wife and I will start a family. Every stage in life provides us with unique experiences. We take what we have learned and build upon it to be the best we can humanly be. Amazingly, there's still so much for me to do.

Short Stories and Novels

In the world of fiction, short stories are knights and novels are kings. They both bring something important to the table. While novelettes and novellas might be seen as inferior, they have their own places too. I've enjoyed working on all of these forms because their degrees of length and scope allow for a variety of possibilities.

The novel, whether its simply a novel or the Great American Novel, continues to serve as a measurement for excellence. When I was starting out, I knew that I wanted to write a novel. The only things holding me back were my lack of experience in developing the craft and inspiration.

It was after college that I wrote a short story. It was a reflection of my state of mind as a post-grad with bleak prospects for the future. I put out my thoughts, my frustrations, and my hopes in that short story. I gave it some time to settle and when I went back to it, I saw that there was something. That something is what helped me use the short story as the basis for my first novel, "The Other Side of Grand."

From there, a literary universe was created and expanded. More often than not, my short stories were originally ideas for novels. As with many ideas, they aren't always fully realized because the creator simply doesn't feel them or attentions drift to other potential projects. This happens to me constantly. It used to bother me because I felt like I couldn't be committed to all of my ideas. The simple truth is that a writer has to decided what he wants to pursue and determine which ones are simply interesting ideas. After all, we don't have all of the time in the world and it takes effort to write decently. If you don't believe in a story, you shouldn't continue writing it.

This is what I've kept in mind when coming up with stories ideas. I've recently thought of a few short stories to create, but I don't feel all that motivated to write them. What I do want to write is another novel. This one is going to be another novel centered on my literary alter ego, Kai Furuya. As I'm going through major life points at the moment, it feels appropriate for me to continue Kai's story. When I grow, so does he.

What If?

Occasionally, I wonder: what if I had never pursued writing? Worse, what if I got into writing only to give it up because I felt it was too difficult or that it was taking me nowhere? What if I hadn't fantasized constantly as a boy? What if I had been more outgoing instead of keeping so much inside my mind? What if I had a completely different job, was in love with somebody else, and lived someplace different all because I didn't get into writing? There are so many what-ifs. I don't have concrete answers to them--only speculations.

I am who I am today because of writing. While I have gotten better at expressing myself verbally through the years, writing has always been my fallback mode of communication. I can organize my thoughts and polish them exactly to my liking. The way of writing has saved me and continues to do so. It's gotten me though moments of depression and helplessness. It's allowed me to connect with more people. It's strengthened my ability to love. As I learn and evolve, so does the writing.

I would be somebody different without writing. There were plenty of times when I struggled with it and felt like I didn't have the right to call myself a writer. Now I feel that it's imprinted in me like a strand of DNA. With equal measures of success and failure, I go on living through my identity as a writer. Now, I can't imagine ever giving it up forever.

Firm Roots

A number of my past fiction projects were attempts to branch out and create stories that were different from the bulk of my work. Some I found to be successful and some ended up being fun experiments that didn't quite turn out the way I wanted.

I've found this to be the case with my latest piece of work. My original idea was to write a full novel that did not feature my long-time protagonist, Kai. As I've gradually worked on this project, I felt less and less invested. The idea itself is still compelling to me in its own way, which is why I've decided to condense it into a short story. I just don't feel like it can be built up as a full novel.

I've done this plenty of times. In fact, several of my short stories were originally ideas for novels. In the case of my debut novel "The Other Side of Grand," it was the opposite. I wrote a short story about the character who would evolve into Kai and later decided to create a novel out of it.

My work has always been firmly rooted in the life of Kai. At this point in my life, I don't know if I'll ever write longer pieces of work without Kai as a central character. Writing in general is not easy. I often struggle to write a few pages at a time. With Kai, it's different. He's a character I can relate to and he compels me to write more about him.

For now, my plan is to write enough short stories to fill another collection and work on another novel once I want to depict another period of Kai's life. Short stories offer a great deal of freedom to explore plots and themes that are different from my more standard work. I still find myself diving into the absurd and questioning the line between reality and fantasy. As a result, I continue to love the short story format.

The Characters We Love

*SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SEASON 7 OF THE WALKING DEAD*

For those of you who may or may not know, last night's season premiere of The Walking Dead was a shocker to say the least. Followers of the show knew that a character was going to die, but the reveal of who delivered a shock that has still left me with a feeling of numbness. I'm tempted to watch the episode a second time just to take in everything again from a new perspective.

While I had a strong feeling that Abraham was going to get the business end of Lucille and that Negan would kill more than one person, actually seeing it play out on screen was uncomfortable.  I'm usually able to keep a certain level of emotional investment in the shows I watch without getting too bothered when characters suffer. This was different.

Glenn was one of the most remarkable characters on the show. Since season 1, we have seen him evolve from the awkward but capable survivor to the badass who was still able to maintain the best parts of his humanity despite the many hardships he faced. He was a husband and father-to-be. This is no longer the case.

Despite knowing that Glenn was killed by Negan in the graphic novel, the initial twist in the episode made us think that Glenn was safe. Instead, Negan literally crushes this important character--and us on an emotional level. After all of the close calls that Glenn had on the show, he ultimately goes down in the same fashion as the graphic novel. I'm sure the ending result has left many divided.

One of the most important Asian American characters on TV has been killed off. The character himself leaves behind a wife and unborn child. This will surely have repercussions throughout the season and even the rest of the show.

The morning after watching the episode, Glenn's death by baseball bat brought up another thought. There is in fact a real life example of an Asian American man getting beaten to death with a baseball bat. His name was Vincent Chin.  Like Glenn, Vincent was a young man with his whole life still ahead of him. Instead, he was killed through an evil and senseless act.

Perhaps I'm looking too deeply into this, but the image of an Asian American man being beaten to death hurts me on a deeper level. Sure, Glenn was a fictional character, but he was a great character. He was a role model not only for Asian Americans, but all people. He will be missed.

At the same time, I really hope that this will allow actor Steven Yeun to really branch out and have a successful acting career outside of The Walking Dead. It seems like most actors who were killed off on the show have faded into obscurity. I don't think this will be the case for Mr. Yeun. He was one of the most beloved characters on the show and the actor was really able to shine all of these years. I can imagine him taking on important roles that will continue to develop Asian American characters in the mainstream. At the same time, Mr. Yeun can certainly take on roles that do not specifically require a person of Asian descent.

I normally don't discuss pop culture extensively in regards to my writing. However, this was different. I'm still processing my thoughts and reactions regarding the death of this character. It goes to show us that even a make-believe person can be kept close in our hearts. A character like Glenn encourages us to be better people despite the shit around us that seems impossible to control.

Just Write

When you're not a full time author, it's not always easy to maintain discipline and produce work on a daily basis. Most of us have to hold down regular jobs. At the end of each day, it's understandable when your brain is exhausted and all you want is to go home, eat dinner, sit in front of the TV, and relax. Maintaining a balance between one's professional life and his creative endeavors is more like a dream. In reality, this sort of balance is usually unrealistic. Paying the bills usually outweighs the desire to create without any guarantee of financial gain. This is especially true as you age, get married, and raise a family.

Sadly, I usually have to force myself to make the time and put in the effort to write. This usually involves putting aside at least an hour or two in the evenings. It could mean doing research, taking notes, writing down passages for future use, or actually typing away in the moment to progress a story. Although it's been slow going, I've been working on new material. One of the hardest parts is getting down the first chapter. Once that's done, I feel like it's less of a struggle because I've established what the rest of the story will be like.

At nights when I'm in bed trying to fall asleep, I'll start thinking about elements on whatever it is I'm writing. There are moments when I find myself getting out of bed and writing down notes so that I don't forget them. I think that if ideas are floating in your head around the time you go to bed, that's a good sign. It shows that your mind can work especially well when you channel out all of the other worries of regular life. At the same time, you need to remember to get enough sleep. Mental and/or physical exhaustion is a negative culprit for a writer. Staring blindly at the computer screen without typing does nobody good.

Even when the writing is going good, it's nearly impossible to type nonstop. There are going to be pauses. I say do what you can and just write.

Daydreaming

As a boy, I daydreamed extensively. My imagination would create stories of heroism and adventure during times when I felt bored or upset. This would make me feel exhilarated. I would imagine myself as the protagonist experiencing these adventures as they played out in my mind. Despite not being an avid reader or writer when I was a boy, these ideas stuck with me as I got older. It was why I ended up pursuing a path towards writing. The early stuff was cliche and amateur. I knew that at an early stage. However, I stuck with it. I did more reading. I studied the styles of authors that I liked and continued writing my own material. It took many years, but I eventually had more confidence in the work. I was getting somewhere not only because I practiced at it, but because I got older and gained experiences all while not losing my imagination like so many do as they age. 

I'm still guided by my imagination as I write. I find myself daydreaming about amazing things as well as make believe challenges that I think about solving. If I didn't have that ability to think far beyond the confines of my own life, I wouldn't be writing the way that I do. 

When the Work Holds Up

Call it self-serving, but I like to go back and read my published work. It helps as a form of reference regarding my state of mind at the time of original inception. Although I can see much of my work as an evolutionary process, I also notice the aspects of my style that have been retained up to the present.

Although writers develop their craft over the years, there are always aspects that change very little. This is what I think is the essence of the individual writer's style: what kind of stories he wants to create and the reason why he decided to write in the first place.

After years have passed and endless hours have been spent creating stories, those of us who have produced a decent amount of work have the privilege of looking back to see whether or not that work still holds up in the present. For me, it does and I'm not going to stop.

Tools of the Writer

It seems simple enough. You're a writer. In today's world, all you need is a computer to type words--but that's not always the case. The writer who is serious about his craft will find various tools useful in the pursuit of the written word.

Notebooks, pens, audio recorders, typewriters, reference books, whiteboards, markers, note cards, and post-its. These are some materials writers will use for their process of creation. At the same time, the writer can use more than inanimate objects. He might have music playing in the background, a view from a window, an exercise regiment, and his gained knowledge through experience and practice.

There's more to writing than simply sitting down in front of tools to record words. It takes preparation. Each writer has a process. Some require more preparation than others. It doesn't always come easy. In fact, much time is spent in stillness without any words produced on the page or in the mind. Writing is like gambling. It's a winning and losing game from moment to moment.

A Literary Universe

All of my stories are part of a shared literary universe. This is quite evident in my work since the state of Arizona is typically the setting for my fiction. Characters, whether major or minor, have often made appearances in multiple stories. Even the more unusual stories like the ones dealing with a post-apocalyptic setting are part of this, albeit taking place in the distant future (Otherwise, I couldn't justify the existence of a shared literary universe when my stories tend to be about everyday life).  

I do enjoy the creation of seemingly standalone stories, but they are still part of my literary universe. I think this is because I feel like writing is an extension of life and life itself is it's own universe with people, places, and events. 

To me, it's fun to come up with connections to stories that seem like they're not initially related. I've thought more about the concept of the shared literary universe because a character from a couple of my short stories will have a prominent role in my next novel. This character has remained rather mysterious and I'm excited to expand her role and to reveal more about her. Who knows? I might write in a few surprise cameos in this novel. That's one of the fun aspects about a literary universe. Those who are familiar with my body of work can appreciate it further.  

The Kai Stories

I created the character of Kai Furuya as my literary alter ego. Before he was even a prototype in one of my short stories that evolved into my first novel, I had relied on samples from my personal experiences when writing my earliest stories. At the same time, I didn't have all that much interesting going on in my own life to make fully compelling stories. It was then that I decided to spice things up, but still keep the essence of my sensibilities.

Kai is not me and I am not Kai. Instead, we compliment each other. If we happened to meet at a party and started a conversation, we would be able to talk for hours and be in agreement about a great many things.

Varying degrees of sweetness, darkness, and neutrality can be found in both of us.  As I grow, so does Kai. We're the same age. Although we had troubles when we were younger, things have gotten better through gradual progression. We have the same hopes.  There are plenty of times when the writing is difficult for us.  We're not always good at expressing ourselves outside of writing.  There are few people who fully understand who we are, but they're the most important to us.  We're completely over the desire to impress others.  There's no need to prove anything to anybody.  We've gotten through many of the things that were awkward and difficult due to lack of experience. And yes, we do love our significant others because they are our equals and except us for our flaws as well as the best parts we save for them.

Kai's story isn't over because mine isn't either. Whenever I finish my newest proposed novel that will be a departure from my usual work, I plan to do another one about Kai.

Writing is All About Changing

As I've been making more notes and outlining chapters for my next novel, I noticed that many of these chapters would essentially serve as filler content. My idea was to make a series of novels with the chapters being in a more episodic format.  I've changed my mind now.  I'd rather write a standalone book with a definitive ending. Instead of being in the style of a TV show, this single book will be more like a miniseries. Doing research, I found that many miniseries were adapted from books, so this makes quite a bit of sense.

Countless forms of media rely too much on the series format and franchise building. Whatever happened to all the stories that stood on their own with a clear beginning and end? Why bother deluding the quality of a story by making sequels? While there are stories that benefit from continuations, it seems like many sequels today are just a way to make more money. Nothing should be made in an attempt to capture the spirit of an original work. It's almost never very successful.

Although I plan to write more stories centering on the protagonist from my debut novel, each story will have its own merits. "The Other Side of Grand," "Mochi Boy," and "Kotoba" all represent the progression of life. As the character of Kai is important to me, his story continues through my own experiences and views on life.

My next novel will merely be a departure from my usual work, but with my sensibilities intact.

Absence of the Creator

I'll admit that I'm not always good at following through with things. There are moments when I have such a high level of attention and dedication to a project that I will put nearly all of my energy to working on it until I feel it's finished. I've been that way with many of my stories.  Once they're completed, I feel a sense of accomplishment and pride from my level of focus driven by the power of creativity.

However, I often find myself not producing work for extended periods of time. The reasons are numerous. I get busy with work, I don't feel inspired, I don't have new ideas, or I just don't do it. I find it impossible to write at least 2,000 words every single day. I'm not a machine. Writing is an important part of my life, but it's not the sole thing that drives me day to day. I want to enjoy life and not spend the bulk of my time at a desk writing about it. First we live and then we take time to reflect on it. I'm not a magical wordsmith. Writing isn't always easy. Here's how I see it: if writing is always easy for you, you're probably doing something wrong.

This year has been full of happenings. In January, I published my latest novel "Mochi Boy." The first draft was written for NaNoWriMo. I enjoyed the process of once again being under a more restrictive timeline that kept me disciplined.

I proposed to my girlfriend in May. She said yes.  We've set a date for October of next year.

My most recent publication is a novelette that continues the story of Kai, the protagonist of "The Other Side of Grand" and "Mochi Boy."

Just last week, I started a new job. It's another step up in my career. Although I'm very busy, I'll get the hang of it and eventually start on another endeavor as an author.

The next project I have in mind is a novel and it will be my first not to feature Kai. This will allow me to have greater room for different plots and conflicts. It's still in the planning stages. Essentially, I want to write a novel that is episodic like a TV show. The whole idea is for the book to be like a miniseries. This format allows for very interesting storytelling and the idea I have in mind would work well in this episodic format.

This proposed novel will address themes of the modern Asian American experience and will be set in the Phoenix area, like many of my previous works. It will be filled with drama, sex, violence, plots of intrigue, and occasional cliffhangers. I'm excited just thinking about building this world. So much is still so possible.